Pocket of Consciousness - Belonging/Connection
4 of More to Come - The Difference between Belonging and Connection.
From the Matrix Trilogy, one of my favourite trio of movies – Neo asks the Question “What is Love” and the answer he receives is “Love is just a word, it’s the feeling of being connected that we want” (LOVE)
Belonging is more of an attachment to something/someone/idea/group, it doesn’t allow for growth, unless the group grows with symbiosis, mutual give and take. Know what belonging is meant to you, is it truly connection that you are looking for and not belonging.
This time that we are in with COVID 19 has given me time to reflect on the very essence of this, and to try to make sense of it in some way. It can seem like an overly complex application; however, it is actually quite simple in application. Attachment or no attachment, the duality of the application, as simple as that. The complexity is how to see through the attachment that you have for an event/someone/group/idea and so on, to bring it from your Mental Mind where you will always be in duplicity, down to your Heart Centre where duplicity cannot live and is therefore removed. It made me question what I thought was important and why I was doing something, was I doing it because I felt connected (love based) or was I doing it to belong (attachment) or for someone else’s connection.
This time has really brought home to me the items that really are not mine and actually keep me from my own growth and hearts desire, as I do not miss them. What I deeply miss at this time are my heart connections, nothing else at all. These are the people and things that bring me joy when I am with them or doing them, not that they don’t challenge me, but because they do, and I still feel connected anyway. The heart connections that I can do in my home or outside my home that bring me joy, push me to be the absolute best version of myself. If anything, these times are teaching me, to make myself a priority, I am worth it.
Knowing our uniqueness to the whole – When we just belong to a group that we are not really connected too can be very damaging to our soul growth. If we just want to belong and we really do not feel a connection, or its someone else’s connection, we need to ask ourselves this question, are we feeling an attachment in some way, could we just walk away.
Another thing to ponder with a group, do you really have a voice with the group, as the loudest voice is the one that would usually direct the group and the small voices get lost/not heard, or is there really a connection in the first place. The group then becomes more like a following for you, we lose the give and take, the symbiosis of knowing when to be the teacher and when to be the student as we need to be both. Whereas if we are connected to the group then all of the voices are heard and the uniqueness of all of the voices make up the group. With a group there will be a constant flux as the group changes and evolves. There is no attachment with connection, whereas there is attachment with just belonging.
Other reasons for wanting to belong instead of feeling connected is the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) or Herd Mentality – What if by my wanting to belong, I am losing myself. Wanting what the other has, recognizing our own strengths and what we have to offer to the group – For example this group that we belong to, am I coming just to belong, am I stopping my own growth by doing so. We get so comfortable in the known, do we push ourselves, are we keeping ourselves busy out of our fear of getting out of our comfort zone.
As long as we are doing it for the right reasons, our own growth, our heart connections, its more about knowing when you are no longer gaining something or there is no longer any symbiosis from the situation and to know when it is the time to get out of your comfort zone and move on. Trusting the process, trusting your own instincts and intuition, trusting those little flags that are in your face. Yes, you need feedback, yes you need the mirrors, the reflections, do we trust those reflections, sometimes its just about trusting yourself, remembering that we are all one, trusting the mirrors that we see. Knowing when you are supporting and knowing when you are enabling and knowing when this episode of your life is done and its time to move on. As an example, I remember telling my Daughter that when a man shows you what he is, believe him, not what he says, verbal communication is such a small part of communication, trust those other communications.
Its hard to see those flags though when we have convoluted our lives with so many distractions and deflections. Stepping up and moving out of our comfort, making the change.
Are we too busy with other peoples needs or what we feel we need to do, to belong, is it really serving us – Have you got lost in other peoples dreams and now don’t know what your dreams are, am I filling up my time with items that mean more to others than they do to me, so that I have no time for my own desires. Do I even know what my desires are? Wife, Mother, daughter, sister, friend, do I put their needs before my own, what really brings you joy, what are the simple pleasures in your life.
Sometimes you would rather belong to a group out of your fear of being misunderstood elsewhere if you left – are you loosing your Authenticity to the group, little by little, are you being heard or are you even speaking with authenticity or just spewing what you think the group wants.
Understanding that what you put out there, no matter, will meet the group where the group/idea/person is at – you are not responsible for their interpretation, they will take from it what they need, you have no idea how you touch another human being, the INauthenticity would be in not sharing your light, your perspective because of what you believe another will think or take from it. You are not responsible for their journey, the energy will meet them where they are at, remember a lot of what you say is not what they get, it is also the many underlying modes of communication that they would receive from you, your smile, your energy, your demeanour, your essence etc. Etc. Etc.
A posting on Facebook this morning also talks to this wanting to belong instead of feeling connected.
The Four AGGREEMENTS – Don Miquel Ruiz “As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.”
From the 8th Fire teachings and my Mentor/Teacher Pete Bernard, the Medicine Wheel wants to bring you back to centre, back to love, the feeling of connectiveness, the feeling of ONE.
And another Pocket of Consciousness arrives ……